Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
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