i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Randomize
