Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I think weed is turning my hair brown
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
