Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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