My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
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