Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
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