So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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