Quick, to the slutcave!
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Randomize
