I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
