Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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