....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize