I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
