Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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