i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Randomize
