I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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