i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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