they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
