Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
