hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
then he tried to convert me to islam
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
