The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
We had to coat check the pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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