you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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