she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
