I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
