Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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