We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
they're like a gay fantastic four
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
