Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Randomize
