shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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