conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
