Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize