She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
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He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
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You've changed since you got that strap on
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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