Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
