he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
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