I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Randomize
