He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
