that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
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tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
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My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
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