Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
