Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
