My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
