i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
And then he peed in my hair
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