it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Your cock deserves a montage
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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