the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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