Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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