I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
