What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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