I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
