im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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