Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
