So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I just gargled with NyQuil
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
