you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I just gargled with NyQuil
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Randomize
