You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
