I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize