you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
