i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
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