at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
When did angry sex become our thing?
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Randomize
