Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
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