so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
a search helicopter?!
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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