their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Randomize
