1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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