Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
